Why Sharing Your Estate Plan Matters

You may have heard Emily encourage sharing your estate plan with your friends, family, and professional advisors.  Often a topic of discussion during your signing appointment, this advice is common and there is a reason why.  In the realm of estate planning,there’s a delicate balance between privacy and transparency. While it’s natural to consider your estate plan a personal matter, closely guarded, there’s an emerging conversation about the benefits of openness in this aspect of our lives. The idea of discussing your estate plan with your family might seem daunting at first. Yet, this conversation is not just about the distribution of assets; it’s about legacy, wishes, and the well-being of your loved ones after you’re gone.

The topic of death remains one of the last great taboos in many cultures, often shrouded in silence and discomfort, deterring open discussions about planning for the inevitable. This reluctance to engage in conversations about death not only hampers the emotional preparedness of families but also complicates the practical aspects of estate planning, leaving many without the guidance and peace of mind they need.

The Case for Openness

Estate planning, at its core, is an act of care. It’s how you ensure that your loved ones are provided for and that your wishes are respected. But the value of an estate plan is not just in its creation but in its communication. A well-informed family can avoid the misunderstandings and disputes that sometimes arise after a loved one’s passing. By sharing your estate plan, you’re not just preparing your estate; you’re preparing your heirs.

Fostering Understanding and Trust

One of the primary benefits of discussing your estate plan is the fostering of understanding and trust among family members. When heirs are aware of the plan’s contents and the thought process behind it, it reduces the potential for conflict and hurt feelings. It’s an opportunity to explain your decisions, especially those that might seem unexpected or unfair at first glance. This dialogue can also serve as a forum for addressing any concerns, allowing for adjustments if necessary.

Preparing Your Heirs

Knowledge is power, and this is particularly true when it comes to estate planning. By discussing your estate plan with your heirs, you’re equipping them with the knowledge they need to manage their inheritance effectively. This is especially important for younger family members who may not have experience with financial planning or the responsibilities that come with managing an estate. An open conversation can also prompt them to think about their own estate planning, ensuring that the wisdom and foresight you’re passing on become a lasting legacy.

Navigating Special Needs and Unique Circumstances

Emily recently authored an article published by the Special Needs Alliance:  Designing and Implementing Annual Meetings for an Effective Special Needs Estate Plan: Strengthening Family and Professional Collaboration

In families where there are special needs considerations, the importance of sharing your estate plan becomes even more pronounced. For parents of children with a disability, an open discussion about the estate plan, including any special needs trusts, is crucial. It ensures that all family members understand the plan’s objectives and the mechanisms in place to support the child’s well-being and financial security. This openness can also extend to discussions with caregivers and other key individuals in the child’s life, ensuring a cohesive support network.

How to Approach the Conversation

Discussing your estate plan requires sensitivity and timing. It’s a conversation that should happen when family members are ready and in an environment that promotes open dialogue. Consider framing the discussion around the values and legacy you wish to leave behind, rather than just the distribution of assets. Be prepared to listen as much as you speak, and approach the conversation with empathy, understanding that this topic can evoke strong emotions.

The Conversation Project is a remarkable initiative dedicated to helping people talk about their wishes for end-of-life care—long before they face a medical crisis. It emphasizes the importance of having these conversations early and often, not in the ICU but in the kitchen, around the dinner table, or wherever families feel most comfortable. By providing tools, guidance, and resources, The Conversation Project empowers individuals and families to express their wishes and values related to death and dying, ensuring that people’s end-of-life preferences are respected and fulfilled.

Innovative tools like “Death Deck” offer a unique and less daunting approach to initiating conversations about death and estate planning. This game employs thought-provoking questions and scenarios to gently guide participants into discussions about their wishes, fears, and preferences regarding end-of-life matters. By transforming a challenging topic into an engaging activity, “Death Deck” and similar games provide a comfortable space for families to start these crucial conversations, breaking down the barriers of the taboo surrounding death.

The Role of Professionals

For many, the assistance of a professional can be invaluable in facilitating these discussions. Estate and special needs planning attorneys can offer guidance on how to structure these conversations. They can also provide clarity on the legal and financial intricacies of your plan, ensuring that your family fully understands its provisions and implications.

Incorporating your financial advisor into conversations about estate planning can significantly enhance the strategic planning of your financial legacy. Financial advisors bring a wealth of knowledge and expertise in areas such as wealth management, tax implications, and investment strategies, which are crucial for a comprehensive estate plan. By allowing your financial advisor to participate in these discussions, you ensure that your estate plan not only reflects your wishes but also aligns with your overall financial goals and objectives. Their insight can help navigate complex financial landscapes, ensuring that your assets are protected and efficiently passed on to your heirs. Engaging your financial advisor in these conversations fosters a holistic approach to estate planning, where every piece of your financial life is considered in the context of your final wishes, providing peace of mind and a secure financial future for your loved ones.


Keeping an estate plan a secret might seem like a way to protect your loved ones from uncomfortable truths or potential conflicts. However, openness and communication can offer far greater protection in the long run. By sharing your estate plan, you’re not just passing on assets; you’re passing on a legacy of care, foresight, and family unity. So, let’s transform the way we think about estate planning. Instead of a guarded secret, let it be a shared journey, one that brings families closer together, equipped with understanding and prepared for the future.

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